Head-hopping and why it's a problem

One of the biggest mistakes first-time authors make

What’s wrong with this paragraph?

I cupped the enchanted coin in my hand. It had been glowing before, but now it blazed like a beacon, humming with magic. ​Watching me, Ebony nearly dropped the rest of the coins in shock. She thought I couldn’t do any spells.

She hid her surprise, acting like she saw me performing sorcery every day of the week. 'Okay, Becca, next take the potion.'​

Let’s try another:

Lenny downed his double shot and banged the empty glass on the bar, a signal to Shirley. He could rely on her. She stopped polishing glasses and headed over, pouring another wordlessly. Ah, that’s the stuff. Shirley knew he could hold his liquor. If anything, he was better company after a few drinks.

Shirley eyed Lenny, hoping it wouldn’t be another ‘scrape him off the men’s room floor’ kind of evening.

(Okay, my post title is a clue but) If you worked it out, then you probably have a handle on what head-hopping is. If you’re not sure, you should keep reading. We’re going to unpack what head-hopping is, why it sneaks so easily into our beautiful drafts, and how to fix it.